The Hateful Eight – Agatha Christie in an abattoir

This is an Agatha Christie chamber piece crossed with the Evil Dead. It’s Slow Cinema crossed with Grand Guignol. It’s as if Sam Peckinpah  joined the “Dogme 95” movement and filmed his version of Festen then reverted to the Wild Bunch.

It starts out very (very) slowly with an opening shot that pans around a crucifix as a stagecoach appears out of a snow covered horizon (Tarantino’s version of Omar Sharif appearing out of the desert in Lawrence?) and that scene very deliberately sets the tone, “settle in everyone, we’re taking our time”.

There are scenes of utter beauty and scenes where you have to avert your eyes from the abattoir-esque carnage.

It’s a bible-black crow-black comedy western. As usual Tarantino plays fast and loose with the music.

There’s a fabulous Ennio Morricone original score – his first in over a decade, coupled with songs by Jack White and Roy Orbison. Tarantino also sneaks in Morricone music from The Exorcise II and The Thing.
There’s a brilliant scene with Bruce Dern and Samuel L Jackson to a one-handed piano accompaniment of Silent Night (surely revenge for what Dern famously did to John Wayne in The Cowboys).

Great performances all round from Dern, Walton Goggins, Tim Roth and Michael Madsen.

Kurt Russell is tremendous as The Hangman John Ruth. But the standout pair are Samuel L Jackson and Jennifer Jason Leigh.

Leigh has rightfully received an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Daisy Domergue but Jackson has been (shamefully) overlooked.
For her troubles Leigh is punched, elbowed, pistol-whipped, barfed-upon, offal-showered, shot and ultimately… well that would be a spoiler.

“But is it any good?” I hear you ask.
As you might have guessed – I absolutely loved it. But my missus fell asleep three times (yes it’s that long) – so you pays your money and makes your choice 😉

For me at least – highly recommended!

Star Wars – The Force Awakens

I’ve tried to write a spoiler-free review but there are plot points and character descriptions in what follows so if you really really don’t want any pre-knowledge of the movie before seeing it then I’ll just say that I absolutely loved it. Now go see it then come back and read this afterwards and tell me what you think. Otherwise , read on Macduff…

I recently re-watched The Phantom Menace (well, the anti-cheese fanboy edit on YouTube – can anyone sit through the full movie?) and by midway through the opening crawl (taxation of trade routes is in dispute FFS) I was already bored.

So compared to any of George Lucas’s trilogy of prequels The Force Awakens is Citizen Kane and any of my
criticism of Force Awakens should be taken with this in mind.

On that note let’s get my moans out of the way first. The biggest (SPOILER ALERT) is that it’s basically a remake of the original Star Wars movie.

I realise this has been done for the same reason that Marvel continually re-hashes origin stories (because the studios want to draw in new viewers whilst not alienating existing devotees and what better way than by re-imagining the story that got everyone hooked in the first instance), it just felt a wee bit lazy.

My second bugbear is that you have to forget or ignore some pretty big plotlines from the original films. Mainly that The Return of the Jedi wrapped up the original tale with a big bow but also that the storm troopers were a clone army cast in the image of Jango Fett.

Now I’m sure the sequels will fill in the backstory and explain how these came to be but it felt a little unsatisfactory to my fanboy sensibilities that I now need to accept that the Empire is as dominant as ever and the resistance even further under the heel.

I also don’t think that some of the newer characters are particularly well drawn.

Screen writer, scion of Hollywood royalty and regular contributor to the Youtube movie crit channel “Trailers From Hell” Max Landis (above) has accused one of the main protagonists Rey of being a Mary Sue character –

or in other words that’s she’s a poorly developed result of the author’s wish-fulfillment . On reflection it’s an argument I agree with. For example she can fix (and fly) the  Millennium Falcon without any prior knowledge. Compare that with the utterly butterfingered incompetence of the pre-enlightenment Luke in the original and you’ll get my drift.  Having said that it’s not such a big deal that it in any way spoils the film. And on the positive side it’s very heartening to see a female role that’s so pivotal. I just think maybe JJ Abram’s idea of a strong female character was a bit too literal.
Also, along with other Abrams’ movies (think Star Trek, Super Eight, MI3) to me the film is destined to be very fondly remembered whilst never becoming a classic. BUT as I’ve already mentioned, after the disastrous trilogy of prequels it’s more than enough to be going on with.

That’s it on the moaning front (promise) because the film is such enormous fun I can forgive it any number of flaws. It looks like a classic Star Wars film with desert planet and snow planet scenes, giant space stations, death rays, light sabers and silly bar scenes.

Also I saw the film in 3G but I don’t think that added much except a sense of vertigo in some of the vertiginous scenes involving Rey.

The tie-fighter dog-fight scenes definitely benefit from being staged near the planet surface rather than in outer-space as it gives a greater feeling of speed and peril.

The movie takes its cue from Guardians of the Galaxy and even Firefly and recaptures the spirit of the original film as a western in outer space. The movie also references snow scenes of Christopher Nolan’s Inception.

There’s thankfully more emphasis on physical SFX but where used the CGI is excellent.

I loved the mix of sci-fi tech and old artefacts like the wooden box the light saber is kept in. I loved the nods to the originals like Luke’s battle-ball being sat on by Finn, the old hologram chess set coming back to life and of course the re-animated Millennium Falcon and the superannuated original cast.

The music was spot on (someone has been watching Where Eagles Dare as the rousing ascending musical motif of Ron Goodwin’s music is very much in evidence –  no complaints from me as that is my all time favorite adventure theme)

The film is studded throughout with stunning locations – none more so than
Skellig Michael which looks so astonishing I’ve added it to my list other reasons for doing a tour of Ireland as soon as possible

The film is packed full of stunning set pieces and jaw-dropping design work. The Yanick Dusseault designed rally of the Empire storm troopers

takes its blueprint from Nazi rallys at the 1936 Olympics  for example is a masterpiece.

And the wreckage of the Imperial star destroyer is awe-inspiring.

Check out this Buzzfeed article for more on the concept art for the movie.
My inner geek is desperately seeking justification to buy the concept-art book but hasn’t yet managed to come up with a convincing argument

Some copacetic new characters are introduced. I thought Adam Driver was outstanding giving real emotion to what could have been a pretty two-dimensional character.

And I loved the bro-mance between Oscar Isaac and John Boyega.

The ‘droid BB8 of course becomes the new must have Christmas figure

I loved the way the older characters are reintroduced and the script thankfully brings back the humour of the original trilogy. Han Solo’s twinkle is still in his eye and the relationship between Solo and Leia is very well drawn and surprisingly moving.
Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher are head and shoulders the best thing about the film

To sum up then, a film that’s not quite the sum of its parts but what parts they are! Brilliant, stunning fun. Very very enjoyable – and, not to damn with faint praise, a huge relief after the three awful prequels.
The forever saga is back on course – go see it.
Highly recommended

Carol – Chapter Arts Center

Director Todd Haynes is quite a conundrum isn’t he? His film making “journey” is all over the place so I wasn’t surprised to discover he had majored in Arts and Semiotics, a subject with such an obscure name I had to look it up and which ironically means “the study of meaning-making, of sign processes and meaningful communication”.

Haynes got his first break by making an indie movie about the life of Karen Carpenter acted out by Barbie dolls. He’s also made films variously about AIDs (allegedly – the actual disease in Safe remains a mystery), a boy with a spanking obsession, a David Bowie-esqe glam-rocker (Velvet Goldmine) and a Bob Dylan biog I’m Not Here featuring several different actors (including Cate Blanchett who in case it had passed notice isn’t actually of the masculine persuasion) sharing the lead role. So he’s nothing if not diverse.

But if there is one thing that may be considered a common theme throughout his career then it would be the making of Douglas Sirk style melodramas embued with a modern sensibility to the plight of same sex or “forbidden” relationships in an unforgiving society.  Far from Heaven for example tells the story of a woman who after walking in on her husband in a homo-sexual embrace pursues a doomed inter-racial friendship with another man.

Haynes later made the HBO mini-series Mildred Pierce – a superior soaper with Kate Winslet on top form as an ambitious mother over-indulging her spoilt brat daughter whilst building a restaurant empire and fighting misogyny. This was brilliant stuff and confirmed Haynes as a talent to be reckoned with.

So fifties melodrama was familiar ground for Haynes and it shows through in every frame of Carol which, if nothing else (and there’s much, much more) visually is an absolute treat. Haynes has a feel for the colors and clothes and architecture of the fifties that brings it to life in an utterly immersive way.

The movie is based on the book The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith writing under the pseudonym Claire Morgan. The pseudonym was required because of the book’s lesbian story line and even today the movie feels transgressional, however, for me it was more the age difference between the protagonists that caused the unease rather than the same-sex content which is maybe an indicator of how some attitudes have shifted and maybe others not so much.

Highsmith is probably best known a for her crime suspense works such as Strangers on a Train and the Ripley novels. So it’s maybe no surprise that Haynes picks up on and emphasizes this feeling of a crime in progress by shooting through half closed doors and shuttered windows. Aspects of the divorce storyline which I won’t go into here for fear of spoilers also heighten this feeling of criminality.

Rooney Mara does a great job of playing the bored, aimless Therese

Therese is an innocent abroad who doesn’t know what she wants, just that it isn’t what she has. When we first see her she is selling dolls in a Manhattan department store (based on Highsmith’s own youthful experience) where she encounters the luminous titular Carol, played by the appropriately luminous Blanchett

The two make an instant connection so when Therese discovers Carol’s lost gloves she decides to use them as a gambit to contact her. Carol is more than open to the overture and the tale progresses from there.

The first act of the movie plays out in claustrophobic fashion in various rooms and apartments as the relationship between the women its first established.

The second act opens the action out a little more as the couple take off on a road trip that almost has the feel of Thelma and Louise if it was rolled back several decades (and the protagonists fell in love with each other rather than Brad Pitt). I enjoyed the film overall very much but I felt that this section in particular was pretty much immaculate. The locations, acting, cinematography and direction were all flawless. Together with Carter Burwells instantly recognisable music (think of mournful Coen Brothers soundtracks like Fargo and you’ll know what I mean) this made for a wonderful piece of movie making and I think definitely one of my movies of the year.

Highly recommended

The Discovery

The Mrs is on a health kick (seemingly permanent but we can but hope for a change of heart). She wants to live long and prosper so everything home cooked tends to be veggie or Vulcan. Vegan – I mean vegan.
So it was a pleasant surprise last night when she expressed her overwhelming desire for a pizza. We headed over (on spec) to the Heath area of Cardiff to the wondrous Anatoni’s only to find it packed out so there was no room at the inn. We were offered a later table by the lovely lady hostess but opted to try The Discovery pub which is bang opposite.

Truth be told I was kind of hoping that might happen as I’d heard a lot of good things about the pubs in the Knife and Fork Group and had been dying to try The Discovery since we first …… discovered it (see what I did there?).

For all their obvious efforts there’s no mistaking the air of it being a reclaimed seventies pub from the outside. Inside however the atmosphere is warm and ever-so slightly shabby-chic with the lighting pleasingly but not too subdued. There are lots of old black and white photos on the walls of leaping dogs and bucket-wearing pandas that stay just the right side of kitsch. The wife wanted to bring some of the eclectic collection of un-matched chairs home with us but we couldn’t work out how to smuggle them to the car.

The restaurant is reached through a large bar area, empty-ish when we arrived but packed and very cosy-feeling by the time we passed back through to leave.

The restaurant itself was busy but not overcrowded and we were happily able to get a table without a reservation

(This is a promo-pic – it was full on the evening we visited)

The Knife and Fork Group rightly make a big play of the fact that their ingredients are seasonally appropriate and locally sourced and that their menus vary day to day accordingly. So all the meals are listed on blackboards rather than printed menus and the lists are pleasingly short. I do love a menu that shows the confidence of the chef to list a few good meals rather than the usual death by a thousand and one mediocre cuts.

Last night we opened our account with hummus, bread and olives

It sounds simple but often it’s the simple things that are hard to do well. No worries on that account here. The olives were very more-ish and the apparently home-made hummus had the consistency and flavor of a warm hug. Lovely.

For mains the Mrs went for the roast cod with chorizo (“well – it was only leetle leetle slices of sausage – and it had kale so it was almost vegetarian” etc etc)

The cod was super, perfectly cooked and subtly flavored and the accompanying chorizo was peppery and delicious.

I on the other hand, after agonising briefly over the “plank of pork”, went for the slow braised ox-cheeks with pomme puree (aka mash), red cabbage and kale.

It’s so hard to put into words how good it tasted I’ll let this picture explain:

It was so good I found myself giving an involuntary groan of pleasure with each mouthful. My kind of food. Simple, good ingredients, perfectly cooked, no messing about. Nom, nom and indeed nom.

Desserts were a little bit disappointing with nothing really grabbing our imagination

In the end we shared the snickers tart with salted caramel ice-cream. Very nice if not up to the standard of the mains – maybe I just don’t have a sweet enough tooth

Overall the meal was excellent. And at fifty quid for a three course meal of this quality for two (including wine and coffee) it was also very good value. In fact the mains ranged from £8 and up so it would be possible to have a cracking meal for a very reasonable price.
We’ll definitely be back to work our way through the rest of the menu. I’m already thinking about trying the plank of pork and the sweet potato gnocchi. Oh and the mushroom risotto. Fish and chips looked good to. And they do a rib-eye steak…..

Very highly recommended

Spectre

Bond is back – dang da da da dang da da da dang da da da dang ….

It’s the first Daniel Craig outing since 2012’s Skyfall.
I loved every minute of Skyfall whereas the friend I watched it with in the cinema (let’s call him “Richard”) hated it with a passion normally reserved for Marmite or Manchester United.
For me it took the Bond genre and tilted it slightly on its axis to brilliant effect.  For “Richard” – without silly quips, outrageous gadgets and lots of Bond girls it just wasn’t Bond. So I guess that film either thrilled or infuriated you depending on what you expect from a Bond film.
Well I can promise you one thing – whatever you expect from a Bond film – Spectre has it.
Gadget filled Aston Martin? Check. Softly spoken Bond villain with fluffy cat? Check. Bond girls galore? Check (although disappointingly none called Fanny Bangs as I was previously and as it turns out mischievously informed), evil hidden megalomaniac lair? Check. Train fight with bullet-headed Robert Shaw-alike baddy? Check. Speaking of which there were any number of nods to previous Bond tropes (a-la the Robert Shaw fight from “From Russia With Love”) and indeed to other movies. The opening Mexico City set day-of-the-dead scene was an obvious and loving homage by director Sam Mendes to Orson Welles’ three minute single camera opening sequence from his classic “Touch of Evil”.

Did I mention the casual throwaway quips – bucket loads.
There’s even a board-room meeting of evil characters where an evil Dr Evil type sits at the head of the table orchestrating the nefarious activities in his evil way. And they even squeeze in a “No Mr Bond, I expect you to die” type moment.

Craig once again does a fine job portraying an ex-military, SAS-type gliding through the daily grind, coming to life only when everything is on the line (loved the “it’s called a life James – you should get one” line – spoken to Bond as he races wheel to skidding wheel along the River Tiber against a stone-killer – played to excellent metal-thumbed effect by Guardians of the Galaxy’s Dave Battista Jr). However I found his romantic scenes far less convincing – especially those with the gorgeous but criminally under-used Monica Belluci.

My favorite Bond is still Connery of course, an actor who could manage the full gamut of emotions from A to B with utmost ease. But Daniel Craig runs him a very close second, and anyone who knows of my Bond/Connery childhood fixation will know that counts as very high praise indeed.
(I realise now that I only hold Connery in such esteem  because he was Bond in my formative years. Watching them now his Bond films are largely unwatchable whereas back in the day they felt like un-reproachable cinematic gems).
“Richard” believes Roger Moore to be the best Bond – which shows exactly how deluded he is on the entire subject.

Snow chase, cable car, helicopter fight, parachute, ejector seat, exploding wrist-wear, irascible M, geeky Q…all present and correct.
The scenery and set pieces are fabulous. Mexico looks amazing, Tangier stunningly exotic and The Alps imperious. Rome is the killer location in this Bond movie though – looking so good I was longing for a return trip before the film was over.

I can’t finish the review without mentioning the clothes.
Bond’s Tom Ford designed outfits are snugly-fitting almost-too-tight elegance personified and epitomize Bond’s buttoned-down, barely-hidden violence perfectly. Like watching Colin Firth strutting his stuff in A Single Man but with added close-quarter combat and explosions. Even the Bond villain gets a distinctive look with collarless Nehru jacket and no socks – never trust a man wearing a suit without socks.

Throw in Monica Bellucci in basque and teeter-tottering stilettos and Léa Seydoux in clinging silk-satin dress – and it’s “oh my word” as Dan Maskell might have breathlessly said.

So…a Bond movie that has it all.
Cliched retread or thoroughly enjoyable?
A Bond too far or did I enjoy every second of it ?

Of course I did! It was bloody marvelous. I can’t see where Craig and Mendes can take Bond from here to be honest. They’ve done origin stories, full-on Bond action genre and seem to have given their take in every possible classic Bond set-piece so I’m not surprised at all to hear Craig say he wants to move on. But this film is more than enough to be going on with.

Classic Bond then and very highly recommended

Everest

A few years back I read a couple of books by an American author named  Jon Krakauer. The first, “Into the Wild“, was the story of a young man seemingly from an “all-American family” who essentially dropped out of society and became a drifter, eventually moving to Alaska slipping off the radar off “normal”life to try to survive on his wits in one of the last remaining wilderness. The book tackles some deep themes in an interesting way. In particular it’s about what motivates people to behave in the way that they do.
Around the same time I read a book by Joe Simpson called “Touching The Void” which is an amazing true story of human resilience, of suffering horrible injuries whilst climbing but surviving against seemingly impossible odds.

“Into Thin Air” by Krakauer seemed to promise a combination of both of these books.

Krakauer, at the time a writer for Outside magazine, actually joined an Everest ascent team in 1996 in order to experience and write about an attempt at the summit. The trip went disastrously wrong resulting in the deaths of several climbers.  Krakauer survived to write a long article for Outside and then later this book. It’s a book that discusses what motivates people to spend huge sums of money to climb the highest mountain on the planet. A mountain where, for every second spent in the “death zone” the body is literally dying. And about how  the climbers react when things go south in a seriously big way.About how one reacts when you have to make decisions on helping others or helping yourself, decisions which have consequences that may haunt you for the rest of you life or alternatively that may cause your own death.
Discussions on big themes then and all handled extremely well. I remember being quite troubled by the book. A lot is made of the “dead zone” and also of how at particular stages of the climb it is and must be every man for himself. How a struggling climber has to be abandoned to his fate or else be the cause of two deaths instead of one. I remember feeling that much of the book was a self-justification on Krakauer’s part for his actions on the climb. By his own admission he has suffered PTSD and survivors guilt ever since. He says the climb is the biggest regret of his life and if he had his time over he would not have gone.

The film Everest documents the same events but the screenplay draws from several accounts and is not directly based on Krakauer’s book. In fact Krakauer has gone as far as to describe the film as “total bull“.

The film is spectacular and grim in turn with Everest looking stunning from aerial shots (although suspiciously CGI’d) and ferociously cruel up close. Even the relatively comfy base-camp scenes look like camping in a barren rock strewn hell – the Jake Gyllenhaal/Scott Fischer character unconvincingly kicking back in studied cool amongst viscous looking pointy volcanic boulders.
I’ve often facetiously said that scaling Everest is not climbing but the hardest hike you could every take on and I was amused to see Krakauer’s opinions chime with this describing it as “rich peoples climbing“. One scene involving Beck Weathers where a delay caused by queuing for another climbing party in crossing a crevasse almost leads to disaster is prescient as Beck equates his unhappy experience to the $60,000 cost of the trip. As much as the trip leader/organiser Rob Hall tries to make it about the experience and the inner-journey at the end of the day many of the climbers were expecting to get a smooth experience that their big bucks had paid for.
A great cast (Gyllenhaal, Emily Watson – outstanding as usual,
Josh Brolin, Jason Clarke, John Hawkes) do well to keep it real and for the most part to avoid any mawkishness all apart from a couple of scenes involving Ikea (oops Keara) Knightley. A fair script which leaves a few dangling ends – mention is made of the South-African team causing discontent, novice climbers who can’t even out on crampons and of simmering rivalry between Sherpas – these storylines, quite central to the book, go nowhere in the film. Too much soaring violin on the soundtrack – but then that’s standard for Hollywood fare. And some stunning shots of the mountain all in all add up to a thoroughly enjoyable film if not quite up to asking the questions posed by the book.
Recommended

Chapter Oktoberfest

Popped down to Chapter tonight for a bit of Scran and a film (Everest – see separate post) and we stumbled into the annual Oktoberfest.

Tons of German biers on sale, schwarzbiers from Saxony, kölschs from Cologne, Bavarian weissbiers.

And curry wurst, giant schnitzel dogs and burgers.

We went for our usual Friday night pizza , margarita and Palma ham with mushrooms

Oh – and a side of sweet potato fries with mayo.
You won’t get a better pizza in Cardiff – stone baked, wood fired and delicious. One of the few places we go back to again and again (and again)

And free live music..

AND no eating allowed in the cinema! No crunching, slurping, chomping…

Chapter Arts – top place. Nip down for a bite or a pint or both – you won’t be sorry

View from the Fan zone

It was our anniversary this weekend and the weather was surprisingly good for October so on Sunday we had a double-coffee pot breakfast then headed out on the bikes.  No lycra allowed on Sunday Cycles – “au flaneur” all the way.

First stop was the Bay for a spot of lunch then back to town to catch some of the Rugby World Cup atmosphere.
It struck me cycling along the Taff Trail what a cool city Cardiff must be to visit.
It has a very vibrant young feel to it but manages to combine that with more established elements like the Castle, the civic centre and some beautiful landscaped gardens and parks in Cooper’s Fields. It’s small enough to be the capital village but big enough to have several distinct areas like the city centre and Hays, the indy restaurant-land of City Road and the great walking and bars and (mainly chain) restaurants of the Bay. All in all a pretty good package for any visitors.

Having cycled down the Taff Trail as far as the Millennium Stadium we paused to do some people watching. My first thought was that Ireland must be empty given the amount off emerald green on display

but the French beret was also putting up a good show

There was a great atmosphere with both sets of fans indulging in fancy dress. These irish fans hitching a piggy back on leprechauns were my favourites

But the French had some eye-catching costumes too even enlisting a power-ranger

And whatever the hell these guys were meant to be

Even at midday with 5 hours to go to kick off the ramparts of the Millennium Stadium were coming under serious assault from the visiting fans – all in great humour

Our people-watching break over we cycled on into the Bay and as it was our anniversary we indulged ourselves with a bottle of fizz, chocs and posh crisps (Carluccio’s wasn’t doing it’s usual take-out focaccias so we had to improvise) while we watched the Irish fans singing Molly Malone on a none too steady looking launch chugging round the harbour in circles before it headed off up the Taff toward the stadium

Back to town and by now Riverside and St Mary’s were impassable by bike so we got off and wheeled our way through the crowds

Our timing was perfect and by the time we got to the Castle the streets were deserted – kick-off about to blow

On an impulse we decided to hit the Fanzone so we parked the bikes and headed on into the Blues ground.
In the shadow of the Millennium Stadium we watched the match on huge screens along with several thousand crazy fans

Murphy’s was partaken of

And a great day was had by all – even the French cockerels who ended on the losing side

And on the cycle home we saw the most amazing sunset

A fab day with Cardiff showing off everything that makes it such a great city to live in and to visit.

On days like this I truly loves the ‘diff

Elliptigo – Channel View Leisure Centre

A few weeks back we saw a few new Elliptigo elliptical bikes on display at the Channel View Centre in Cardiff Bay and our curiosity was tweaked. If you’ve ever seen an elliptical trainer in a gym then imagine that set on wheels and you’ve got a good idea of what they look like. I have to say I wasn’t too keen to hire one as the thought of scooting around Cardiff on a giant-sized child’s scooter in electric green was less than appealing. But she-who-must-be-obeyed insisted and so there I was this morning signing away my life to rent an oversized scooter

In the words of my daughter when she saw the photos – “you guys are so embarrassing”

A quick tutorial in the car-park by the Elliptigo evangelist in-residence Steve and we were on our way

And what fun it was! The most fun I’ve had with clothes on all week.
The experience is like cycling without the butt-ache and like running without the knee impact pain. Pretty much the perfect exercise for an arthritic old fart with shot knees like me.

The raised upright body position means that you have excellent all-round vision and the bikes stand out so much that traffic did not feel like an issue at all – although we cycled mainly off-road today. (I have to say that Cardiff Bay and the linked Taff-Trail which runs all the way to Brecon and beyond make Cardiff heaven for cyclists).

If I were to describe the motion of the bike then I’d say it’s akin to running on air, or like running in water without the water resistance. You travel along at what feels like a huge lope and the Elliptigo really comes into its own on long open stretches of road such as the one crossing the Cardiff Bay Barrage – so good we did it twice

It did help that the weather in the Bay today was pretty glorious and that there was so much to see such as a visiting Swedish sailing-ship, “Eye of the Wind”

a chap carving maritime figureheads

and a weird new building near the Dr Who exhibition – which appears to be made of Japanese “shou sugi ban” shingle in the shape off a strange stubby legged toad

The missus and I (who both suffer with various joint or muscle problems) were very taken with the Elliptigo. Enormous fun and a real head turner. I lost count of the number of adults that gave us a smile or a “what the… is that thing” look, and of the number of kids who looked on slack-jawed or said “Wow!” as we glided past.

The bike’s build feels very sturdy and well engineered and it has some neat little details such as the ergonomic grips

We only managed a very flat ride in the short spell for which we used the Elliptigo today. My heart rate for the ride averaged 70BPM and I got it up to 110BPM without too much effort “sprinting” across the barrage.  Bearing in mind my resting rate is 45 that’s pretty good. We are keen now to see how it goes on hills – Steve assures us it’s the shizz so next week we’re looking to tackle Penarth Hill.

Overall we were impressed however I have a few concerns. Firstly although stable and easy to ride, they are quite cumbersome – so right turns, gates etc can be tricky. Secondly the clearance is not huge so I would imagine even the gentlest off-roading would be a non-starter. Also it wasn’t clear to us in this short trial how easy it would be to deal with a puncture or other technical issue.
Lastly and most significantly is that price is an issue. The eight gear version goes for around £2000 for what is essentially a bike – a huge, potentially prohibitive investment. It makes the £6.50 an hour charged by Channel View seem a bit of a bargain but even this had a drawback. Each time a bike is rented a £50 deposit is taken off your credit-card and then re-deposited on safe return of the bike. Actually taking the money seemed a little “heavy-handed” and I did wonder if there isn’t a better easy of handling this – maybe similar to the way hotels hold a reserve without actually taking the money from the account.
But rental definitely seems the best option especially as there is a 4 hours for the price off 3 deal.
To begin with at least renting is what I will be what I’ll be doing until I’m utterly convinced that I need to buy.  A plus-point to this is that you get to meet Steve and the rest of the staff at Channel View – all of whom are lovely

All in all a great day, a really fun experience and a fantastic piece of kit – I can’t wait to give it another go.

Tortilla – Caroline Street

“So farwell then SpiceBerry we loved you but you didn’t last. I’ll have to add you to my list of Curry Houses (past)” (with thanks to E.J.Thribb)

Alas Spice Berry is no more and has been replaced by a new Mexican takeaway/restaurant called Tortilla

I was hoping for something up there with Chipotle or even better a Tacos No.1 but then they would be competing not just on taste but with my hazy golden memory of a fabulous week in New York so probably not a fair comparison and probably no surprise that it didn’t quite reach that level for me.
Tortilla are located on Caroline Street – a street that has changed beyond all recognition from the days when it was a post-match chip-shop and curry sauce stop-off. Now you’re more likely to find up-market chains like Five Guys and Bistro Pierre than a trad chippy.
The place looks great outside and in:

The decor is urban chic with beer-bottle chandeliers and lots of reclaimed wood and industrial metal partitioning.

The setup is familiar to anyone who’s been to Mission Burrito our Wok To Walk. Select the size, various fillings and relishes and presto! You have a burrito

The grrrl and I both went for the medium size wrap – which even by my hungry standard was pretty huge. The missus went for the veggie option whereas I went for the steak (70p extra but worth it – very good), mediterranean rice, peppers, guacamole, cheese and sour cream with hot (hot) sauce.

All the ingredients were freshly prepared and the flavors were excellent – particularly the steak and the hot sauce.

If you’re looking for a reasonably priced quick bite or maybe an upmarket sandwich for lunch then Tortilla is well worth a visit